A swarm of gar infested my back-yard vegetable garden. Whenever I ventured outdoors they gathered around me, attempting to nip at my ankles and ribs with their snapping jaws and elongated teeth. An expert on the matter informed me that a liberal spraying of lemon juice would help rid my garden of the infestation. Unfortunately [...]

Casi Cline I was walking through an empty airport, and I had the feeling that the world had been ending for a thousand years. My flesh was dripping and I needed a place for repairs. I came upon a conveniently located airport funeral home, but I soon discovered it only served people made of fruit. [...]