A Sizable Hole

The blank early morning woke me in the middle of the darkest of lights. Plans, I didn’t have any officially defined ones but I did have dreams. With dreams the recipes write themselves. I clambered off the shelf I had set myself on last night, unrolled my eyes and looked around to assess my current dimensions. After a cold splash in the fountain and a quick morsel of minted purpose and rice, I set about composing my leave. I brought out a set of noctilucent elytra I had been gifted long ago by Lop-Lop. I unhinged the feathered body suit from the storage shaft it had been sealed in after its delousing a year ago. Along with a jug of moist lips I had gathered over nine lifetimes, I assembled the just completed light maps made of spider webs which I had commissioned months earlier at the Arachnid Cartographer’s Society.

I had a key to the shell which I had been living in for quite some time but it was damaged from disuse and bite marks. I needed to gain the air of an unknown idea outside but how? I opted to garner the blessings of the UFOs and UAVs spying on me and torch an exit wound through the silica wall by setting fire to my deleted passport – a promise I had made to a younger me and to some violent characters assembled together somewhere. So I struck the only match I had, lit the passport and by the intense heat released the silica quickly turned to glass. Once the wall became glass, I closed the Elytra about myself and ran full force towards the wall but just before impact I leapt, curled into a ball and crashed through the glass fully protected by my wings.

I was exteriorized and I meant it! The feather suit awakened and was delighted by the news in the air of my departure. It unfurled itself of its sleep. Laughter entertained my countenance. As I looked about the new ether I noticed cracks growing everywhere. They were growing wherever I set my eyes as if my eyes were the initiator of the cracks. After a small period of time, when I looked back over the cracks they had converted themselves into tracks, trails. I made the decision to take one of these trails but which. One looked quite interesting and another looked promising and still another had colors I’ve never experienced and emitted smells that begged my hunger to follow it.

With fingers uncoiled I decided to take the dark one, the one where only a sliver of silver light was visible in the distance. This light was only a marker. It didn’t help illuminate the way. At the beginning of the trail I was approached by extremely animated vines tugging at my ears and toes. There were buzzing winged creatures whose ‘voices’ welcomed me with tiny arias and confetti in the shape of various syllables. As the darkness enveloped me, my footsteps became more and more cautious. It seems the entrance behind was a doorway I had stepped through. That door was now shut and sealed from providing me any light. The silver light I was facing still begged me on. Cautiously I advanced towards the light with each step more precarious than the last. Finally, I came to a spot where feelers no longer felt and stepping back to my previous place was simply not as firm as I remember. Feeling became fainter and fainter until I finally had to concede that there was no support left and that I was falling but was I falling upwards or down. I had no feelers left except for the feel of the air rushing past me, across my leathered skin and that changed directions so often I couldn’t figure out from where they were coming. I had no idea which direction I was falling and the extreme blackness in which I was engulfed only added to my uncertainty. I left myself to journey and delight in the whims of the unknown. Was I a product of chance or was I a participant … or both? I had no choice but to sail on.

In this unchartered ‘fall’, thoughts provocatively coursed through my brain. Am I inside the space or outside it? I am upside to the down or vice versa? Will the air continue to fly past or will it become thick enough to catch me before I reach the top. Or will I continue to descend after my body is pierced possibly by an unseen sharp needlelike spire coming up fast causing me to split evenly into numerous others?

I lost myself in these thoughts but how could that be as I was LOST! Who could that be thinking? And who is going where? Thoughts were ‘falling’ directionless as was I. Thoughts were travelling nowhere and everywhere at once.

Since the trail gave out and I was upended into this unknown direction, I happily relinquished myself to this casting. To this day I continue falling … but in which direction? Maybe up, maybe down but certainly uncertainly.