Back in December 2019, a few of us played a game of Surr-prophecies for 2020. The results, perhaps, are not totally off the mark…

January: Cruise ships become infested with juvenile hedgehogs & possum, leading to a economic downturn. An outbreak of Invisible racoon cause havoc in the Disneyland machinery, causing countless accidents. The gastric acid of the bourgeoisie becomes a carrier for a new breed of mosquito larva.

Late January: seven extra months of variable length are inserted into the calendar. These include a number of new festivals and holidays including Fantomas.

February: Trade negotiations between so-called humans and fungi fail. Fungi re-engineer life on earth.

March: When a hurricane carrying marionette gangster apples is spotted off the coast of delirious, microscopic orthopedic canopies Congress decides to initiate an inquiry into why bright lights push forward refugee desires to jump over the year’s piano hoists.

April: A charismatic lungfish crawls out of the mud to lead an oceanic revolt against the surface world.

May: An epidemic of free food, books and musical instruments; the proliferation of different kinds of re-engineered beings, councils, phalansteries and land occupations, city-wide improvisations and Courts of Love.

June: The skies open and a strong flow of energy causes Eternal Female and Eternal Male manifest their love for each other in all ways possible.

June – July. Due to dangerously unstable climate conditions Vampire Hatching Season arrives three months early. Crazed by the unexpected extra hours of daylight the fledgling vamps embark on mass feeding frenzies around churches, schools and shopping centers. The infestation spreads in an unprecedented geometric progression. Australian politicians reassure their slumbering electorate that ‘We’ve always had vampires.’

July: Day-glo pipe cleaners save the day—AGAIN.

August: A profound disturbance stirs the silent angle around the witch appearing more beautiful than a bouquet of fossils. Lake Superior spews a rhombus shaped mercury key indicating the end of corruption. A herringbone patterned owl beams a compelling sunray revealing the wisest secrets then breaks without a hum.

November: The Caligulate falls on doomsday the 15th this year.Little boots will be “in” for sex parties,bouncers will be removing big boots at the entrance. RSVP to your local representative.