The Things You Can Do With a Shrink Ray’d Eiffel Tower

First, I would use it as a pool cue.
Play and win every kind of billiards,
snooker, everything, shark the hell
out of the unsuspecting with the triumph
of Paris.

Next, as a golf club – hit two balls
on the front swing and two on the back
with the four-fold base of wrought iron.

Then, I would shrink it still further, and
I’d use it as a dart – shoot straight 180s
across the board with Gustave’s feat.

Then finally, after a brief stint as a really
difficult spinning top, I’d use it as a
push pin – stick up garbled nonsense
size 4 font poetry in my room with
what was once one of humanity’s wonders.

It would truly be beautiful – an architectural
masterpiece, wrathfully diminished
into a tool for fun, and then finding
its final resting place:
burrowed into ordinary drywall.