I am walking to the end of a dock on the tigre. the river is opaque, barely moving against the heat of the sun. my love has just jumped off the end and not resurfaced. I loose time. I stare at the surface for minutes, maybe hours, before I jump in too. immediately my sight is gone but I can feel it. first cold water then fish skins and silt and weeds and the soft mud at its bottom. when the soles of my feet hit the mud they go right through it. all of me is pulled through it and I land in a cave. sight returns, but it is very dark. all sides are mud, deep oranges and browns, and everything is rounded out and damp and moving in shallow breaths. it is hard to stand. the mud and clay keeps reshaping itself and tunnels appear and vanish as I struggle to walk towards them. then I am no longer alone in the cave. a giant snake is winding through the mud filling all the openings. the side of its body presses me into the wall and I cannot breathe against the mud. my ears pop. the pain builds in my lungs and I die trapped in that shape shifting pile of earth.
I am standing before a valley in a desert under a blue-black sky of stars. I am bone cold. there is no sound in this version of the world. the sand shifts beneath my feet and suddenly it is a thick liquid. moving becomes the way it feels to try running against the tides of the ocean. I realize I will have to swim across this wide open water to reach the other side. I start out, and am trying to gauge which direction to swim when the first foot falls. a group of stone giants are walking over the dunes and into the water. so tall I cannot see their faces but their marbled legs are causing great waves in the water. I am floating on my back through the waves. this sand water isn’t wet but feels like ice. I am looking up into the stars when a leg comes down and crushes me. the cold had taken all the softness out of me and I shatter into uncountable flecks of mica which are absorbed into the sand.
I am in a pine forest walking hand in hand with a friend. summer becomes winter as we walk. suddenly along the sides of the path wolves are running. I pick up my friend and place him out of reach in the trees. my back is to a tree as the wolves circle. I can feel its sap. I know they will attack me but this fact is accepted. they start to take bites out of my stomach. I cannot feel anything but I smell the metallic tang of blood. the wolves start to pull a string of intestines like a line out into the trees. I have a sense that I need to follow it but my vision becomes rapidly blurry. when I can no longer follow the line, I fall, stay laying down, and die.